You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
