This is not my ceiling
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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