Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
