How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
