I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
