when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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