do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
