So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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