brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Is Oprah even human
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
