The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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