spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
