we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
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