well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Two words: nipple clamps
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