seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
