Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
