Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
