my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
