Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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