through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
