i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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