Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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