your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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