I'd wear matching sweaters with you
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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