Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
