we made out on top of his cat.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
