yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
