Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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