I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
They have beer where we have blood.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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