I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
