Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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