How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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