So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
