You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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