You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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