He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Randomize
