Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
