Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
someone owes me an orgasm
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
