my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
