And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
