So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
