it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
