I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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