Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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