Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
