Your mouth is God's brothel.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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