Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
