tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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