No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Life without a bra equals bliss.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
