kristin has been a bad kristin
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
