Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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